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Francis
Francis, played by Christopher Masterson, is the oldest of the brothers and the biggest troublemaker. Francis is a regular character on the show for the first five seasons, although he has lived outside the house from the series' beginning. His mother, Lois, was in labor with Francis in the middle of her wedding to Hal. Francis was a troublemaker from a young age; he broke curfew, drank,smoked and slept around. Lois exiled him to a military academy after he was caught in bed with his girlfriend, and crashed the neighbor's car (which proceeded to burn up), and got four nose rings (Lois warned him he would go to military academy if he got so much as one). From afar, Francis provides fodder for many subplots. Francis is shown (in frequent flashbacks) dating girls of which his parents did not approve, although he claims to be in love. He also once attempted to light a bear on fire. He has been shown to be obsessive and going out of his way to prove Lois wrong (such as getting his nose pierced multiple times just in order to spite his mother who forbade him to do so). Francis did not feel guilt for the things he did and believed his actions were justified, no matter how horrendous they were. Francis blames his mother for most of his problems and, at one point, even pretends to be analcoholic in a ploy to make her feel guilty. Francis has a very poor relationship with his grandmother Ida, as they are often seen arguing and they both attempt to make each other miserable and even try to hurt each other (In the episode "Baby" Ida seriously hurt Francis by squeezing his crotch, and in "Graduation" Francis attempted to kill Ida by grabbing a fireplace poker) During the first two seasons, at the military academy, rebellious Francis finds a formidable adversary in Commandant Edwin Spangler, whose hook-for-a-hand proved a valuable comic device as Francis sows insurrection in the student ranks. In his time there it is shown that Franicis' vandalism at school is caused (at least in part) by his desire to stand up to Spangler after the Commandant's cruel treatment of other cadets. At the beginning of the third season,Francis heard about a supposedly lucrative logging job in Alaska from his friend Eric and tried to convince Lois to let him go. Lois refused, and in a rage, Francis slammed phone off the wall, landing on his foot, and while hopping around in pain caused a display case to fall on him. Despite the 9 inch gash in his leg, Spangler insisted Francis rebuild the case himself immediately despite his injury. This was the last straw, and at only 17 years old, he legally emancipates himself with the help of forged signatures and an unscrupulous Alabama lawyer. He then leaves the academy, accidentally cutting off Spangler's remaining hand in the process, and heads to Alaska to work in the kitchen at a logging camp. While in Alaska, Francis finds that the job is anything but what Eric described. Once there he is under the employ of the malevolent Lavernia, a cruel and brutal woman who works him to the bone at extremely little pay. Despite clearly ruining his life, Francis prefers this than proving Lois right. After several misadventures he marries a local woman, Piama, whom he had dated for one month. Lois reacts hysterically and continues to be somewhat hostile toward Piama for some time. Piama, like Lois, is hot-tempered and does not shrink when Lois goes after her. By season 4 Francis and Piama have left Alaska (due to the closure of the logging camp) and Francis finds work as a farmhand at aNew Mexico dude ranch owned by a German couple. Here, Francis becomes more of a responsible adult: he even begins to discipline his younger brothers, who always regarded him as a rule-breakingrole model. A little over two years after he begins working at the ranch, however, he is fired because the ATM he used to deposit the ranch's funds was not actually an ATM (it is not told what it was, though it's hinted to be a food trough). For the remainder of seasons six and seven, Francis makes only occasional appearances, yet he is still credited in each episode. While visiting Francis, Dewey discovers that he has regressed and reverted to his old ways, living in a cheap apartment without getting a job. Here, he briefly takes a job as the manager for his friend's band and attempts to start his own business. In the final episode, Francis and his mother fight over the fact that he remains unemployed. Later, his father discovers that Francis has been working at a large corporation called Amerisys Industries for two months. He explains that he enjoys his job of sitting in a tiny cubicle entering data into computers all day immensely, but he kept the job a secret from his family because he equally enjoys frustrating his mother by telling her that he is unemployed. Francis' final scene shows him taunting his mother over the phone with his non-existent unemployment by yelling, "You just can't stand that your son is still a free spirit!" He then picks up his briefcase, makes plans to come home right after work for dinner with Piama, kisses her, and happily heads to the office.